4/2    at workshop I taught this weekend, on performing your own works, someone asked if I thought some poems were just meant to be on the page, not read aloud. I wanted to say No, it’s the nature of language to be spoken. instead I said there’s a range of poetries, some being things that a person needs to get out of them. didn’t say I don’t think those  releases are often poetry.

maybe teaching a class on two consecutive weekends is making me think too much about poetry, audiences, standards, my own paranoia/insecurity. better to just act like I’m fully committed and paddle on. feeling the return of  pessimism on poetry, power of art/the irrational, hope, etc. part of my balancing nature to bring this on myself after two weekends of poetic exchanges. its one thing being a loner but then when you see who else is on your ‘side,’ (more accurate a term when you consider the polyhedral nature of who we are) feelings go all over the place, misorientations.

grant me the strength to change those things I cannot accept.