5/22   Last night saw a notice that a poet I know in town, fine poet, wonderful guy, real active, multi-medial (seems like a number of poets these days work in a couple media, including visual and performance art) has some readings coming up on the east coast including st marks poetry center, which means to me he’s a bigger time guy than I realized, which makes me think of all the poets in town here with various connections—people come here, they go other places, europe even, win prizes. Usually news of others success (especially when I’m trying for the same thing) makes me feel a little jealous, but mostly down on myself for lack of success, effort, skills. This time it was like the universe opened up and I saw the motes we all are, the interacting world, some more than others, an abstract but visceral moment, overall calming.

then reality settled back, but I didn’t let myself get too down. rolling with the tao, projecting whatever positive into the roiling maelstrom. waiting til the words come.